i have the same routine everyday. i hear my alarm twice sounding to the song 'sexual healing.' i figure, if i'm not getting some, the least i can do is get over thinking about it at 6am and move on with my day. i generally sit on the stairs leading to the second floor until Tom exits the bathroom, which creates the grand visual of me waiting unpatiently, wrapped in a towel with my crotch well visible to anyone who walks by. this may concern you but it shouldn't, and let me tell you why:

first of all, by the time Tom is leaving the bathroom for his bedroom, i'm up and walking towards the shower. second, jerry has walked in on me in the bathroom before, leading me to believe that he's seen it all. not that i am 'all' but i think i can say that i would be unalarmed to find him walking by as i'm a cloth away from being naked. third, josie doesn't wake until about 8 and if Sam is out of her room, i'd hear her before she'd see me on the stairs.

so i continue to sit with my legs situated any which way on what is very likely to be spider infested carpet and i wait until i hear the facuet turn off and Tom's last spit of toothpaste and then, the door opens. i enter. shower as fast as i can because i am most likely late at this point, nick my leg shaving, probably forget the other leg because it's fucking 6-whatever AM and i don't care if the sun is nearly at its halfway-mark in the sky... it's still too early. then, the three choices: The Early Show, The Today Show or CNN Morning. most often The Today Show because i'mm borderline obsessed with Al Roker. "here's what's happening in your neck of the woods!" i do my make-up in the dark because my attic-resembling room has only one window and being that i only have one window in an mouse-hole of a room, that is where my air conditioner goes, not to mention my house faces east, therefore unallowing and restricting any sunlight that has a chance. the drier is broken, for the fifth week in a row, and since my roommates haven't signed a lease in two years, management isn't exactly obligated to fix it.... so, my face looks shitty, all my clothes are dirty and my ankle is still bleeding from the rushed razor.

sometimes i eat breakfast if i feel like going down and up two flights of stairs. i can honestly tell you - my ass is looking spectacular these days. if i don't eat breakfast, i grab a yogurt, soup and typically an apple, trip over the dog's goddamn chew toy on my way to the mini fridge for a water, yet i'm well aware of the fact that it could be poop instead of a chew toy, and i'm out the door to fetch the bus.

i see the same people at the stop; we all smile but no one says anything. it's still too early to try to make friends, and mostly everyone goes back to looking at whatever they were before whoever had walked up and keep my mouth shut just the same. thenm i usually wish i had a coffee but retreat from the idea because dunn bro.'s is a rip and i remind myself that i'm trying to save money, not spend it like an idiot. i get on the bus, greet the grumpy driver and seat myself behind the cute boy fourth seat back on the left. he smiles, i smile, and we both know that this will go on for the rest of the time we both have to board the 6B.... but i keep my mouth shut just the same.

then i get to work, get a 'diner' cup of coffee, recognize that my phone message light is never flashing, turn on my desk lamp, log onto the system and wonder what the hell i'm going to do for the four and a half hours after i go through design edits, checking and answering emails and updating the masterlist.

everyday, the same thing. and sometimes i wonder if i'll ever be happy with anything i'm initially proud of.