i tried not to count down the hours at work today. in a great attempt to not succumb to the painful itch to watch the sunny Saturday going on beyond the Rosedale Center doors, i tried to remain focused on being cheery and made an extra effort in fetching and smiling (although) at the occasionally unpleasant shopper. my feet ached but people do it everyday, so i left my 8 hour shift with my hand dancing along the linings of the black bag i've reassigned to my arm. (i'm trying to down-size... but everytime i do i'm shortly reminded of why i buy and cart a big bag in the first place. figures?) i dug out my phone and called Tom, who was patiently waiting for my retail vindication, and we agreed that 30 minutes was an adequate grace period before we joined each other in company for dinner and movie. much needed, much more enjoyed. and now i have a new favorite eatery!

because i have NOTHING TO DO tomorrow, and because this is mostly foreign to me, i have decided to work on some of my stuff before i really can't keep my eyes from falling way back into an unfamiliar zonk (no tylenol PM... or yeah?). (i'm suddenly reminded why i used to stay up so late... all those late hours is where my jazz lies.) upon checking my email, my not-yet yawning eyelids paused on a sender's address that at first didn't stand out in my memory. and then of course, as always, the moment gave way and i had one of my Alison Recollections. i had emailed an HR Manager at AOL Books in New York about an editorial internship i had inquired about.

my story goes: desperation got the best of me, and with much discussion with my parents, i made the decision to look for something out east that would replace the glassy look in my eyes with sparkle. and you know what, as lame as that may sound, it needs to be done. so i've been searching and i'm trying out all my resources. maybe a fall internship would treat me better than this hand-me down, 'nearly-white' of a city i have lately found myself wanting to stab my eyeballs over. who knows.

i'm known to be predictable, but i can't let go of the way i felt when i relocated myself almost a year ago and how damn good that felt. time and distance is everything, like what, some god forsaken math equation? but seriously, divide those two and you get the rate you're going at. it all makes sense. ha, math? just because i'm bad at it doesn't mean i don't understand.