gravedigging. this is what is going to become of me unless i start galloping down my dreams. these waves of passive-aggressiveness; the coming and going of motivation, as if it's not enough motivation that i'm living at home with my toughest critic breathing down my neck. i want to try to be allright. thinking about my life isn't good enough for me. i'm a do-er. i'm a leader. brainstorming; free-writing; observing; mingling with that which is uncomfortable; eye-witnessing my own weaknesses, confessing and having it reflect in a piece of work.

i want to feel like a woman. i want to be treated like a woman, not a lady. to me, there lie differences. elegance, wit, a bad-girl yet graceful attitude, intelligence, maybe swan-like movements.

or maybe i'll become a ripped jeans-wearing, yee-haww screaming, Chevy-driving, everyone's-favorite-townie blonde.