i'm sitting out on our porch writing tonight. i have two favorite times of day. this is one of them... when the sky shows traces of the sunny afterthought and the air is cooler and it helps me to appreciate the day. i don't have to sheild my eyes from the rays and for the first time all day, i'm comfortable. this last week began with an email war between my landlord, John, my dad and me, wrestling the issue of air conditioning. you know me. i can't stand heat. like, i almost get sick from the heat. i can't sleep, eat, and it's pointless to clean myself when i know the second i set foot out of the shower, it's back to the sweatfest. you know it's fucking hot out when alison's sweating. but in the turn of the last few week's events, i've come down on myself a little harder. i'll battle when it marches right up to me, but until then, i'm going to try to love the things i used to hate. i love waking up early in the morning and having a bowl of fruit on the porch before the sun peaks around the west side of the house. i'm going to answer emails for help from co-workers who can't make it to work, and pick up the shift for them. i'm going to quit giving people so many benefits of doubt and i'm going to tighten the leash on the trust i've distributed freely, but i love people more. anxities and qualms affect everyone, and somedays it's harder to truly understand that... but everyday i try.

i'm doing school seven times a week; i attend everyday but friday, sometimes twice a day. somedays i enjoy it. other days, i don't so much. but i'm aware, and halfly proud, that i'm motivated. i know for a fact that i will miss being a student. i'm going to miss being stimulated in this way, in this environment.

i wear a dress whenever i can, as much as possible. minus the days i bike to work (which is everyday...... so i worded that wrong). i work out everyday unless the previous day's workout annoys my knee. i'm into my 5th week of cross-training, which means i'm crossing my fingers that i will be able to start running again by week 6.

i'm sure i'm leaving a few issues untouched. this goes to say some things in my life have become private to me. i've hit a lot of highs lately, and i've also experienced a few lows. i've managed, and managed quite well, to turn the low into a high and i've just doing the day to day thing. and i look forward to taking more roadtrips, our well planned, highly anticipated trip to vegas for a quadruple birthday celebration. and next week i get to spend some quality, drunk, cowboy hat-wearing time with my closest friends at some of my favorite bars. life is good, you know? it's better than good. with one hand over my heart and the other out to grab the newer, better things to come by way.