it's 3:35pm. it's also Monday. about 12 hours ago, i published my last post, hence all the mistakes. i was sort of doped up on tylenol PM, although apparently not enough because i had an unbearable time falling asleep last night... if you didn't get that from what i wrote. it was nightmarish. i stared at several different limbs of my room - the ceiling fan, the window shade, the strings that opearte the window shade, the bare wall that i've meant to do something about, the knobs on my drawers - but the separate focuses led to me more awake than i was pre-task. so i concentrated on a name that i couldn't stop thinking about anyway, and tried some sort of hyponosis on myself. i cleared my head and focuses on the two words, over and over and over... thinking maybe i could create the same effect as the counting-sheep test ... GROW TIRED.

nope.

and now my head feels like it weighs about 20 pounds and my body like a noodle.

i wish i was on drugs, at least then i'd have an excuse.