backtrack:

a year ago, i was living in a house with four people whose lives i walked into, but cared no more than to know their daily schedules. so when valentine's day came around, it's no wonder i felt more alone than ever. a year ago, i was in a relationship that i knew wouldn't make it out of the slump it had slid into. but between my 18 credits and half a dozen papers, i sweat my way through the nights leading up to valentine's day. a few weeks earlier, i had been moved by the most anti-climatic chick flick i had ever seen. but that movie struck a chord, and i was inspired to make the best valentine's gift yet. so, i stayed up an hour or two later for a week's time than usual and did the necessary research. slowly, it came together. low budget, but wholeheartedly assembled. it was the sort of gift you're so proud of making that you almost wish you could keep it for yourself. but i sent it off. i missed the 14th by a couple of days, but better late than never (the unaging cliche).

last year, i didn't get a call from my significant other until it was nearly the 15th. it went something like, "i don't like Valentine's day, so i tried to avoid it as long as i could." the deep, valentine red carpet that i was sitting on felt like it shifted beneath me. actually, i think i blacked out, because i don't seem to remember much about the rest of that night except picking up the gift, which was almost finished, and wishing that i didn't give a fuck. that Valentine's day, i realized that love just wasn't a good enough reason for me to stay.

flashforward:

a year from now, i hope to have kicked off 2008 with a job that i'm proud of, a job that i love, and a love that doesn't necessarily have to win me over with flowers or a greeting card....even though i still wonder when the year will come when i'm feeling like can scream in joy because the man i'm so in love with spoils me on a day that misrepresents what love is really about..... instead of feeling like screaming because i've never been spoiled, let alone on Valentine's day.

......i'm a girl, what did you really expect? sometimes i wonder if guys sit around on Valentine's day wishing they could meet a girl who truthfully despises Valentine's day as much as a girl mopes around wishing they could meet a guy who openly loves Valentine's day more than he loves her.

ah, i need some fine wine.