i guess, if i could change anything about my physical appearance at this very moment, it'd be to have a longer, more elegant neck. i'm staring at my reflection in the union windows, looking out towards downtown, and it just occured to me that sexy women have great necks. if i did, maybe i'd have half the courage i do now, with the ability to hold my head up higher than i did today. maybe i wouldn't be afraid to tell someone what i really think. maybe i would be able to tell the publicly gay guy in my magazine writing class that repulsive, homeless, disease-strikken, or offensive writing is GOOD writing, and that his moth-eaten American Eagle sweaters are passé (a fussy gay gives them all a bad rep). if i had just an extra inch of neck, maybe i'd believe one extra inch in myself..... i even can't imagine the things i could do then....

blue. everything is blue. the cold seems blue. the snow looks blue. my classmates' faces look blue. i'm sick of winter. i'm excited for Seattle. i'm excited for California and every other state that we pass through. i'm excited, and hopeful, to feel normal again.

in a half hour, i'm attending my first event to report on for the Wake (for non-U students... the Wake is the university student magazine). i found another outlet, and i hope it does me well. the more outlets, the more options, the more obligated i'll feel to get out of Minnesota.