2.10.2007
i grew up following God. when i was fifteen, i believed that God was in my heart. when i was seventeen, i felt God leave. today, i still look for Him, but i'm less likely to be convinced that He's in my friends, my family, or even my body. on the phone yesterday, i said to my grandma, "why me?" and she said, "why not?" i didn't understand then, and i don't understand now. and i can't figure out if it's my own fault i don't have the right inspiration in my life. today, i went on with my afternoon and waited for a wave of "everything's going to be OK" and i got it, i got it a lot. but i can't feel it. not yet.
1 comment:
This is why I have your blog in my daily routine, and this is why I will wait 2,5,10,20 years to read the book you're going to write. I enjoy your writing... and I can't wait until I'm old, wrinkly, half blind and forced to get your books on tape.
p.s. I was procrastinating and looking at old pictures from freshman year. The dorms were lame, but sometimes really fun. 10 people sitting in a circle on the floor, drinking cheap champagne and generic capt. Morgan's. Its funny though, I think most of the pictures of you, me, and sam were taken after 2am when we all looked scary. We were cool. I miss being just two doors and five steps away from some of my fave people.
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